the gift of an ordinary moment

in my head, i'm quite the domestic goddess around the house, an organized martha stewart, if you will, and a healthy version of paula deen in the kitchen.  like i said, in my head.  my head doesn't always play out in real life.  life is messy.  i've mentioned that a time or twenty.

truthfully, i try.  but i tire of spinning so many plates.  a few of them, self-inflicted, i'm sure.  so much to do, so little of me to go around.  that's where i stand in this season of motherhood.  chances are, you know where i'm coming from.

a friend of mine asked my soon-to-be-thirteen-year-old (excuse me whilst i have an i'm-not-ready-for-my-girls-to-grow-up-tantrum) what we did over spring break.  my sweet girl told my friend that we cleaned.  and did schoolwork.

nice.

laughing, i walked up and reminded her that we only had theater and schoolwork this past week.  evenings were completely free for playtime since all dance classes & piano/voice was cancelled.

maybe we could take more breaks if we were not involved in theater, dance lessons, competition, piano/voice lessons, music guild, etc.  but the girls really don't want to give up any of their passions; therefore, some schoolwork must be seized during hours our public school friends might be on break.

i'm so glad mama is here to remind them how much fun they get to have each week. ;)

oh, i kid.  when asked, the girls will tell you that they love us.
and we have fun. 

sometimes, when distracted with my many spinning plates, i need a gentle nudge...
to just breath
and take in the moment.
i'm sharing one of those tissue-inducing nudges with you here...

after wiping my teary eyes, mama closed up shop.  reading could wait till the afternoon on this particular day.  

making a spontaneously-fun moment would come first.  they grow up so quickly.

getting our studies in is certainly important.
absolutely.
but not more important than appreciating life with those we love. 

to prove how dedicated i was, i even left the nikon at home.
this was truly about quality time, not quality of pix.
sometimes, the iphone captures the best moments.

(we called this our tree in the trail. ;)

may you and your family collect more fun-filled memories,
and guilt-free-parenting-plate-spinning.
because... well... life happens.
yo.

motherhood {in-between}

The Proverbs 31 woman. 

We've been compared to her industriousness and beauty through many sermons on Mother's Day.  Have you read her chapter?  If not, I encourage you to.  It can be found in the book of Proverbs, ummmm... chapter 31.  She was quite the catch, I'm sure.  Apparently, many worked as she did; yet, she outclassed them all.  All?  I wonder if other women were jealous of her.  I wonder if she took the time to care.

I have to admit.  This Proverbs 31 lady was not my favorite person.  Then, it dawned on me.

I've often thought about the line on a tombstone.  (How's that for a transition?)  Not the beginning date, nor the ending, but the line in-between.  Dare I say, the most important part.  The many days and memory-filled moments. 



The Proverbs 31 woman was not born pre-skilled in sewing and cooking.  Her skills, character, and traits were cultivated over time... not one day.  During the in-between time.  

I've sometimes wondered... Did the never-hormonal-always-pleasant-never-a-hair-out-of-place-industrious-Proverbs-31-woman ever take a moment for herself?  At least, that's how I saw her.  I can only imagine the answer would be yes.  If nothing else, for sanity's sake.  If I could have tea with her, I'd like to ask her how she did it without mom-guilt.

Mom-guilt.  I'm convinced it comes as a side order with kids.  Yes, please.  I'll take a cute little bundle of joy, with a side of guilt.  We all suffer with it at one point or another, right?  We take our eyes off of love for one fleeting moment, lose patience, and are consumed with it.  We take time for ourselves... or not, and are consumed.  We miss one of our child's firsts... and are consumed.  No matter what the cause, it's always there, waiting to pounce on the joy in motherhood.

Did I hug them exquisitely, so that they feel my love for them?  Did I listen, without distraction, in conversation long enough?  Have I taught them a lesson in character, or did they only see my faults today?  Did I sound critical, without being constructive?  Did I take enough pictures to hang on to the important memories?  I should feel like playing with them.  I should finish the laundry.  I shouldn't be spending time on the computer right now...  I should start dinner.  I should take time for myself.  I should...

So many things tug at our mama apron.

Truth is, when I take time for myself, it helps me to be more present in the moments that matter most during the in-between.  

I don't have all the answers - especially where motherhood is concerned. I'm learning to be okay with that.  Honestly, there's a bit of freedom in those words... I don't know. 

However, what I do know is that children are pretty resilient. They care what I am doing in the current moment.  To them, that's the line in-between. So, I have come to terms with the lovely Proverbs 31 woman.  She can do some pretty great things, but is she doing the tango with my 10 year old in the kitchen, or singing a pretty killer Do-Re-Me harmony with my 12 year old?  Where is that on her list?  At the end of the day, her list might just look a lil' different than mine.  I mean... I think it's safe to say that I will never be an accomplished seamstress.   

If we are serving those around us, as best we can, without comparing to our neighbor, I suspect we are fulfilling the role of the Proverbs 31 woman with the people God has entrusted us with. 

I predict, one day, my children might rise and call me blessed.  Until then... I'm pretty content when they rise and ask for breakfast.  It's only for a season, right?

Although, the language in which they express it in this season of life is pretty priceless, too.

Now... What do I do for myself?  Hmmm... Yeah, I'm working on that one.  Balance.  It seems the unattainable goal, most days.  I'm still working on saying no to people who take advantage of my kindnesses, and saying yes to things that enrich my life.

Motherhood seems to permeate every fiber of my being; always thinking of ways to improve life for my lil' nest, attempting to savor each moment, while cleaning up and documenting the mess of fun memories just made.  It's more of a balancing ACT.

For a homeschool mom, whose husband works many hours traveling, seizing time just for myself can prove challenging.  For now, in this juncture of life, it's seizing unplanned moments as they come - grabbing a quick brunch with a friend, while the girls have theater, or making myself read something non-homeschool related.  Sometimes, it's simply taking 10 minutes in the car, while waiting on the girls, to dust off a few apps on my iPhone.  Then there's my 'to gym or not to gym' question.  It's a battle, really.  *sigh*

If only motherhood came with a manual, right?  I venture to say that regardless of which path you and your family are on, whether it be homeschool, karate, dance, theater, music lessons, *breath*, church activities, crochet, baseball, volunteer work, etc, etc... We are all simply doing what we can to make the most of the in-between memories.

Conversing with a group of homeschool moms yesterday, we found ourselves giggling at the very thought of 'me' time in our current season of life.  I believe in bringing our worries to God, but there's also something special about girl power.  The freedom to say, "Hey, I understand exactly what you're going through.  Me, too."

I've find myself giggling when I hear sweet friends express that I always seem to be so... put together.  {excuse me whilst I laugh uncontrollably}  I have flaws, y'all. I imagine the Proverbs 31 woman did, too... so I think we're in good company.  Girl power, y'all. ;)

I guess one of the best gifts a mom could give herself would be to stop over-pixelating their mothering.  Seize moments in-between to be present in the doing.  Make memories of fun - for the kids.  And... guilt-free moments just for the mama.  The one wearing that worn, much tugged at, apron.  

It's what will be remembered in the in-between. 

For more posts celebrating motherhood, visit my friend Theresa @ Red Oak Lane.

{perspective}

i'm staring at the cursor, hoping for something to place words where these feelings lie.

where do i begin?  

i've mentioned a time or twenty that my husband and i served in the institutional church world for several years.  our last journey carried the title of senior pastor.  it's a position that no one can understand... unless you've literally walked in the shoes of that title.  i don't say that with a haughty spirit.  honestly, i've never been one to get caught up in titles.  they don't impress me.  i want to know the person behind the title.

as pastors, the highs were high and the lows were, well... low.  a couple of families who disagreed with the direction my husband was leading personally saw to that.  it was no secret.  most people knew there was something brewing behind the scenes.  said family's dad had even been labeled the 'don' of the church.  as if he were the god-father of god?

our 'resignation' mourned by several in our congregation - celebrated by a handful.  that hurt more than i could have ever imagined.  they were, at one time, like family to us.  even sharing holidays together.  tears came quickly for an entire year.  everything i knew was now unfamiliar.   

i also struggled with anger for an entire year.  that's the ugly part.  i know. i know...  turn the other cheek, do unto others, forgive if you want to be forgiven... i'd heard it all.  yet, this smile-n-nod pastor's wife had reached her breaking point.  through it all, my husband's only response was, "if vengeance needs to be taken, let it be the lord's."  i really wished the lord would have used me to do 'his' work that year.


then something happened.  after we rode a roller-coaster of emotions, our hearts softened.  we no longer felt anger, heart-wrenching hurt, or resentment.  i could drive by the church building without crying.

my identity in christ deepened more than this blinking cursor has vocabulary to explain.

while driving the mom-taxi, i saw him {the don} walk across the street near his business.  and it struck me.  hard.  he was a broken man.  truly, it takes a broken person to be so malevolent of someone.  i still believe that to this day.

this blog neglected to mention that we made it through the doorway of this church building we once pastored back in december, when invited by great friends to watch their christmas performance.  a bit unusual, i know.  but years had passed, and we were there to support our friends.  

surprisingly, there were enormous hugs from one of the few families that hurt us.  they cried tears, without words.  somehow, my heart interpreted them.  their hearts must have taken quite a journey since we saw them last.  we only had one icy stare. ironically, her husband was playing scrooge in the play.  i let it roll off of my back like water along feathers... because she, too, must be broken.

the 'don' and his family were not in attendance for this special service.  i sometimes wonder what his greeting to us would have been.  would his face hold the cheerful grin of victory it expressed when we made our grand exit?  or would he join a few others in a language of tears?  

today, he is mourning a loss.  a loss i would never wish on anyone.  his high-school sweetheart, and wife of many years, passed away last night of a sudden heart attack.  they were gearing up for their oldest granddaughter's bridal shower this weekend and celebrating the youngest graduating high-school this year.  this family is hurting... 

and i'm hurting deeply for them.


sometimes, life throws a curve-ball that puts priorities in perspective.  

perspective.  i've been thinking about that word a lot lately.  

complaining comes easy in this life when we focus on ourselves... but we've much to be thankful for, too.


it would be quite easy for me to focus solely on the fact that a gas station is going up right. behind. our. house.  actually, we are all quite bummed about that.  we were given the impression when we bought our house that the field behind us would remain just that. a field.

but... when i look for it, i can still find a beautiful sunset.  and appreciate a young tree the girls named "thumbelina" when newly planted.  



my mom doesn't have liver or breast cancer, as she thought might be the case.  that roller-coaster alone aged me this year.  especially after losing my step-dad last year. 

speaking of wrinkles... or crinkles... they seem to be picking up speed.  as deep as they run though, the stories they tell run deeper.  i think i'll keep them.  i think i don't have a choice.

my husband works a lot.  he doesn't teach the girls a homeschool subject, nor does he check my tank for gas each week.  but he is a hard worker; a tech-savvy, cool nerd.  he believes in and supports our homeschool by providing the funds for curriculum that i've spent hours researching.  he cooks the family team breakfast on weekends. he's the vacation planner and tour guide.  he's my help-mate.  he's a keeper.  we wouldn't trade him.  even for another homeschool dad who teaches french.  besides, he gives the bestest hugs.

the mom-taxi van.  oh, yes, it is full of broken handles, an air conditioner which only runs on high - causing an embarrassing awful noise, a hood-liner falling on our heads, etc.  however... for the past 3 years, it has carried priceless cargo without the expense of a monthly note.  for that... i am thankful.  

i will try not to complain about a monthly note when purchasing a new mom-taxi... for it, too, will be carrying precious cargo.




housework.  how many times have i wondered aloud to myself when the rest of the team will become more diligent in this category?  but the piles that begin to overwhelm me at times serve to remind me that i have people to care for... and who love me in return.

see the lips i found on the mirror?  there are two more just like it... all side by side.  they are still there.  i have an inkling who left them.  no, not the hubs. *giggle*

these are the things i will one day miss.  my mama heart even wants to preserve the messy moments.  well, maybe not the dust on the mirror... just the lips. ;)

i guess what this blinking cursor is trying to say is that life is sometimes messy...

 

but if i keep my thoughts and eyes up.  
on what really matters.  
it all falls into perspective.


maybe that's why i have an affection for the sky... 
when you're looking up,
everything else fades into the background.

not what i had in mind this weekend

one word that can and will change your plans at a moment's notice. 

lice. 

things one learned this weekend... but never-ever desired to:

1. when doused in listerine, a louse will die within 2-3 seconds. apparently, they don't like alcohol.  wimps.
2. lice don't like hot curling irons, either.  it will send a big-girl louse running.  this would be how one might discover this pesky critter existed in your baby's hair.
3. it really doesn't matter how clean your hair is.  you won't be immune. {repeat to self}
4. in a hurried pinch, you may have to buy a rid kit, just for the comb.  the comb will be worth every penny.
5. it's only recommended to keep listerine on hair for two hours.
6. you might decide to sleep in it.  with shower-caps.  even if that will be your hubby's last impression of you before he takes a trip to nyc.

7. following a listerine treatment, vinegar will help loosen the nits. 
8. using the special comb repeatedly will become your new obsession.  
9. finding a dead louse is less creepy than finding a live louse. {that, alone, sounds creepy.}  oh, and 11 lice total is 11 too many.

10. it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between dry skin or eggs. if it blows off dry hair, it is not an egg.  nits will be the color of your child's hair. brown. fun.
11. ipad + earphones + weetwoo app = sanity. for all.
12. the hardest part for little ones is having their stuffed animals washed. they have souls.  little people might cry and not buy your story of them having a fun bubble bath.  you probably could have just tossed them in the dryer.
13. you should check the inside of the shower-cap for dead louse.
14. comb and re-comb. {repeat}

15. swish comb in solution of listerine/water. toothpicks help clean the comb, too.
16. regardless of what you read, you will feel lower than an ant when having to contact anyone your child has been near.  but they will be thankful you informed them.
17. store tools in listerine.  or you should boil things.  but you may decide not to.

18. louse cannot jump, but they are fast crawlers.
19. when you had no symptoms prior to diagnosis, you will now feel phantom louse.  and pray they are only phantom. and run for the comb.
20. your daughter my decide to camp out in the loft to escape her room, till it's 'safe'. *giggle*

21. long hair doesn't leave you more vulnerable for louse... just an opportunity to exercise more patience when combing.
22. your pets cannot give you lice.
23. christmas decorations can wait.  again.

**********************************************

guess what mama is doing today?
taking a homeschool inservice.
cleaning and combing, again.
repeat. 
we'll be surprised if we have any hair left.

this... and toilet cleaning,
not in my 'happily ever after.'

on the positive side, my house will be the cleanest its ever been!  can you tell stuff like this brings out a lil' type a personality in me?  rhetorical question, of course.

**********************************************

websites that might prove helpful should you ever need them:

mercola

ask dr. sears

home remedies
virtual haircare 

disease control & prevention 

ehow: treating with listerine 
medicinenet.com (pictures)

a moderate ride {day 3}

if your children are not the ride-ridin' type, an amusement park is a must-stop when you go on a lil' family vacay.  make sense, no?



at least there's the water-gun-shootin'-game-thingy. winners and non-winners win a cape.  super powers might be attached.  it's a win-win.  

there's the car that runs on a track.  employees still have to check for fastened seat-belts when these lil' minors are driving.  safety first.



and these famous looney tunes.   gracie's favorite part.   gracie gave bugs bunny the 'call-me' hand signal.  he returned the signal to her... then gave me the 'call-me' hand signal.  

and that was the day hubs almost knocked bugs bunny out.  we kid.  maybe.



nator drove her first car.  no guidance from a track.  just railings.  of which she only bumped into once, while looking up for me.  not bad for a first drive, right?  gracie was happy riding as daddy's co-pilot. 



nator wanted to upgrade from the beloved 'shamu express' at sea world and try a moderate ride at fiesta texas.  she chose the large rocking boat.  during which, she vowed not to ever try again and determined rides were not in her dna.

i seem to be the only willing-coaster-rider {well, so long as it doesn't spin side-ways} in my family, yet i don't have a riding partner.  truthfully, the older i get, the less attractive they look.  the rockin' boat almost did me in when i looked sideways at hubs and gracie below.

the ferris wheel,  the one ride the girlies will ride, is about our speed.  so long as the girls don't look down.



okay.  secret's out.  i married a pirate and gave birth to a neon-colored-wanna-be hippie. 

gift shops... and the traditional lighting of christmas tree, being ushered in by carolers {who are not afraid to sing about jesus}, fireworks, and looney tunes?  those are always welcome.  and fun.  

but a night-cap at the macaroni grill?  yum. mo.

i suggested skipping the amusement park next time since we don't do rides.  gracie said, "but moooom, the looney tunes show!"

so... is coaster-riding in your dna? ;)

evolution of birthdays

it's funny, you know.  the evolution of celebrating birthdays.  when growing up, one can live in a child-like bubble of knowing there's a 'big deal' to be made out of the whole day. 

while all of my childhood memories wouldn't give warm fuzzies, i do remember a time or two when mom would check us out of school early on our special day {or on the last day of school}.  oh, how i loved hearing the intercom buzz my teacher with instructions to send "hmama" to the office for check-out.  being free from that stuffy place was the. best. gift. ever.  even if it was only 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the class.

i remember a relay race with two lines of friends.  it was our goal to throw adult clothes on top of our kid clothes, run around the yard and be back to pass the adult clothes to the next person in line.

i remember a surprise-sweet-16 birthday.  mom had arranged all of my friends from church to be at our house when i returned from a shopping trip with a friend.  completely unexpected.

mom always did a great job pulling something special together for our birthdays.  my brother's birthday the day before mine.  her's, the day after.  yet, our days somehow managed to feel... individual.

i remember re-enacting the wire hanger scene from mommy dearest with my mother for all of my slumber party friends.  so scary, it was downright funny.  they loved it.  i think my mom liked it, too. ;) 

mom has always had a flair for the dramatic.  i think that's part of what made her so good at pulling gatherings together, during a season of my childhood. 

i'm not a party mom.  i wish i were.  sometimes, i feel like it's just not in my personality to play hostess to a house, filled with other people's lil' children.  please tell me i'm not alone in this.  it will make me feel better, anyway.  and it is my birthday today.  no pressure. 

we usually tell our girls they can have a big party, or a big gift.  big parties are hosted at other locations.  that, i can do.  woot.  most times, they want the gift and one on one time with a friend.  i can do that, too.  woot-woot.  aaaaand, we take a day off of school for birthdays.  including mom's.  woots all around!

years later, ladies from the institutional church we served would take me out to dinner on my special day.  they took great joy in seeing the restaurant do their birthday production, at my expense. it was all in fun. time would tell me that many of those ladies were not true friends.  difficult times have a way of separating the girls from the women. i'm better for it, really.

hubby, bless his heart, is much more gifted at this birthday planning gig than i am.  last year, he had arranged for our best friends to meet us for a wonderful evening on the boardwalk.

today, life has been filled with getting things ready for an online class the girls are taking... about the victorian christmas era. dance class. dress rehearsal at theater.  i really wanted to go to the chiropractor.  mama is hurtin'. age talkin'. sorry.

now that i'm all grown up {hold your laughter}, expectations are not what they used to be.  i no longer live in a bubble.  i realize, often times, the celebration comes from within.  you create your own party.  even if that is stirring a heart of thankfulness by remembering the real blessings in life.

you know... when your kids and hubby sing happy birthday to you. hubs whispers sweet nothings into your ear before he leaves for work... "i changed the litter-box for you."  gets me every time.  sets birthday cards on the table and then starts the dishwasher, too.  

love deposits. ;)
those are the best gifts of all.

oh... and there's nothing wrong with tossin' the adult clothes for kid clothes every once in a while.  metaphorically speaking.  i plan to do that, too.  hubs owes me a date night, yes? ;)

if you need me, look for the lady walking with a crook in the neck, wearing the #1 MOM! pin.  because my kids think i could totally rock a presidency.  you gotta love the cuteness in that.

counting blessings

our most recent weekend was not the family-fun-errand-outing-weekend we're used to upon hub's return home from... where did you go again this time, hun?  indianapolis?  i think that's it. 

gracie's symptoms hit her harder thursday night.  an early flu?  nothing a little knowledge and run to the vitamin store couldn't tackle.  friday morning, we retrieved hubs from the airport.  needless to say, friday and saturday were good times.  did i mention hubs was sick, too?  yeah.  poor guy.  no grillin' goin' on in our hizz-ay over the weekend. 

my poor momma and wifey heart.

thankfully, nator was well... and eager to help.  she's a handy girlie to have around.  nurturing seems an innate quality in this little bundle of joy.  she's gonna make a wonderful wifey and mother... one day. 

sunday, theater called a 4 hour rehearsal.  we tucked dad in at home, while nator and i tucked gracie in at the theater.  she was feeling well enough to watch and say a few lines.

we also got word from a dear family member that their health is potentially more serious than your momentary flu.  sometimes, life just seems unfair.  it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel in those moments.

i have to be reminded that they are just that.  moments.  

it's up to me as to how i react.  i know that.  but sometimes... well, i honestly want to throw a good two-or-three-year-old-tantrum.  our hearts are tempted to become anxious.



then... i'm reminded of his goodness.  god's goodness.  and all that he's done for us already.  for starters, the gift of his son.  it's all perspective, really.

light is to darkness, as thankfulness is to complaint.


so this holiday season, while we are working on a stuff-mart list of wanted-fun-items under the tree, we also remember what's important.  the needed things that can never be wrapped...


pure love.  cherished family memories.  hugs till you can't breath.  laughter till your tummy hurts.  health.  wellsprings of patience.  trust.  kindness.  honesty.  true beauty.  perseverance.  close friendship.  seeing the goodness in others... and yourself.  hope for what is to come.  child-like faith.  compassion.  loyalty.  and joy... unspeakable joy.

and may you have it all.  pressed down, shaken together, and running over.  completely full. 

counting blessings.  as numerous as the stars.  

or christmas lights.

{L}ife {L}ately

{L}ive performances.

seems we didn't get enough of our own. the girls were eager to watch the other cast in their o{L}iver performance.  well, that... and mom was needed to snap a few pix. ;)

sisterly {L}ove. 

the best.

{L}oving others.

operation christmas child.

{L}earning... with our furry side-kicks.

{L}ong division for a certain 4th grader. the pillars of is{L}am. george washington. shakespeare. beethoven. nations of the world. adverbs. dolphins. and fashion 101.   

{L}ong socks don't necessarily go with shorts.  

mom learns that this is shocking news to a certain 11 yo.  

but we let it s{L}ide.  because she's so stinkin' cute.

{L}aughing.  furry side-kicks bring welcome comedic relief during learning fun.  we've really enjoyed having our day-time hours back to fit a relaxing school day.  can you tell? ;)

i{LL}ustration.

we've been studying vincent van gogh's {L}ife and works.  here is our interpretation of the starry night.  can you name the artists of the above originals? ;)  

nator calls it "sunny morning". sounds much happier, yes?  mr. van gogh didn't seem at peace with himself.  poor guy.

the girls thought {L}umping leftover paint colors together just as interesting as any priceless van gogh.  

i love the care-free-playfulness of these 9 and 11 year old girls. 

{L}ittle girl {L}ovin'.

this girlie needed to catch up on some daddy. so... he took her for a treat at non other than panera.  quality time was had as they checked off the grocery list, too.

nator and i enjoyed some quiet time at home. ;)

funny how many definitions there are to romance.  hubs being home on the weekends to cook breakfast and help with the grocery shopping = sanity saver priceless.

the post that will never be and spilling beans

most of my {favorite} online communication often comes through email.  there, it can be made more personal.

remember quite a while back, i mentioned posting a Q & A regarding the emails i'd received from people related to ministry?? institutional church ministry, to be exact?   i know.  it's been a while.  it's okay if you don't remember.  honestly, i was hoping you'd forgotten. ;)

truth is, i just haven't been able to put words to the heart of this matter.  it's a delicate dance, this subject of church.

truth is, while i do my best to share words of comfort with those who've been wounded by the institutional church, {hear come the beans...} it's not the reason our family has not regularly attended a church in nearly three years.

i heard that *gasp*.

it's okay.  just a handful of years ago, i would have gasped, too.

truth is, we are all at different places, asking questions, and making sense of theology passed down.  many have their own interpretation of biblical standards.  i'm not here to say who's right and who's wrong.  only... i'm there, too, asking questions.  we only know that what we do {after 20 yrs of institutional church ministry} works for our family.

besides... sometimes, i wonder if the lord must grieve or giggle at our seemingly elementary theologies and judgmental thoughts {sometimes... backed with criticism}.

{to know me is to know that a critical conversation tires me more than doing a full afternoon of laundry.  i'm pretty sure, anyway.  let's not test that for the sake of this post, mkay?  ;)  you know... we shouldn't call out the toothpick in someone's eye when there's a 2x4 in our own.  agree?}

the older i get... *ehem*  in all of my studies, and more importantly, in listening to my heart, the theology that makes the most sense to me is that god is a god of love.  we've barely begun to scratch the surface of his unfathomable love.  and for that, i am eternally grateful.  {a scene from toy story just popped in my head. sorry.}

living love is more powerful than a sermon.

{the following video is not suitable for young viewers...}



may i always be willing to see people with {unconditional} love.  loving people where they are and not where i think they should be.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Mother Teresa

thoughts?

still gonna be my friend?  ;)


{oh... recently, i deleted my personal facebook account.  *heartpalpitations*  it was my last connection with several people we knew from our days of pastoring.   it was time.  but... i opened another one under my blog name.  *nevermind. i just deleted it*  you can  visit me on twitter.   twitter friends are better than google search.  just sayin'.}

chicken soup makes everything better, right? right?!

 

it was supposed to be a fun-theater-school-dance-day, 

ending with a kids eat free coupon at chili's.

we had a busy-fun day...

that ended in a need for comfort food, even if from a can.
chicken noodle soup, to be exact.
grilled cheese, made with ezekiel bread and rice cheese, to compliment. ;)

{i had most of the details of our day typed out, ready to post... but i chickened out just shy of that intimidating publish button.  believe me.  it's better this way.}

let me simply give you an abbreviated version.
{you're welcome}

theater.
{yeah!}
resale shop.
{yeah!}
lunch at home.
{protein shakes will do}
school.
{yeah! minus our first day of 'dictation'}
snacks.
{yumm!}
dance.
{yeah! until tap class.}
12 yo girl was mean to my 9 yo girlie.  possible bully situation brewing.  long story.
{whoa, wait a minute!}
tried to have an adult conversation with grandmother.
{she didn't act like an adult}
grandmother yells at mama. 
{where's the nearest exit?!}

i know it's hard to reeeally know someone from a blog, but trust me when i say that i am not a confrontational person.  i'm a slide-under-the-radar-kinda-gal.  the quiet one in a crowd.  seriously, i was the 'smile and nod' pastor's wife.  {although, looking back, sometimes i wish i would have spoken my mind.  but then again, knowing me... i wouldn't have done it differently.} ;)  but... sometimes, you just have to speak up and defend... your lil' kids.

let's see...
copied hubs the texts grandmother sent to mama tonight.
{hubs said this lady was... well... dumb}
he made me laugh with his unexpected response. 
{i needed that laugh}
grass fire near our home today.  it was contained.
{thankyoujesus}

we forgot to go to chili's.
we forgot to return our redbox movies.
mama forgot to eat dinner altogether.
but the girlies... they got comfort food.

and several exchanges of hugs, kisses, and tears.
i tucked them into bed...
praying that the events of the evening would only strengthen us.
and not cause any permanent damage.

i think i've finally stopped shaking...
and crying.
the fire dept could have used me today.

crazy grandmother.
{did i say that out loud?}

{s}chool, {s}weet tooth, and {s}ore muscles

slumbering out of bed from a night of, well...
not enough sleep,
{sometimes, that happens while hubs is away}
i managed to get another day of schooling logged.
despite the fact that i'm still feeling my way through the dark,
so to speak.
mama is taking baby steps in the organization department.

i'm realizing procrastination has not been my friend.
*ehem*

organizing, while teaching...
and shuttling between 2 piano classes,
trips to the airport,
3 theater practices, and the start-up of dance?
completely planned on purpose.
yes, that's it.
*ehem*
excuse me.



*hangs head in shame*



hi, my name is h-mama,
and i'm a home-body.
no, really.
i am.
 
believe it or not, we have homeschool friends much more scheduled than us.
i. just. can't.

oh... seems someone in our house has a sweet tooth.
{notice how i change the subject?}
a complete weakness for whipped cream.



she even knows the sound of our hand touching the can in the fridge,
before it makes an appearance in the kitchen.

one. smart. pup.



if only she knew the exact moment to catch it.
*giggle*



i'm not drowning all of my worries into a bowl of sugar.
i'm pumping it at the gym, too.
proof is in the fact that i haven't been able to completely straighten my arms all week.
can you say, ouch?!

of course, i make it look completely natural by bending my arms on purpose.
*ehem*

when reaching for something, the body must follow...
thereby exerting more energy.
thereby confirming my need to take in a few extra {good} calories.
{muy logical, no?}
like organic blueberries {ummm... just trust me.  they're in there.},
a tbs. {or 6} of whipped cream, and some ezekial 4:9 cereal for good measure.

it's my indulgence of choice, as of late.
jazzy, too.
well, at least the whipped cream.
she may have even held a short-lived grudge after i cleaned her face.

so what's your 'go-to' yummy dessert?
maybe i should ask... low-sugar? ;)