Thursday, March 17, 2011

on growing up

I've mentioned it a time or twenty that I'm not a huge fan of our girls growing up so quickly.  Turns out, they haven't listened to that instruction well.  *sigh*  Did I happen to mention that we've even paused the 'teeny-bopper' shows in our house?  There's been no Hannah Montana, Suite Life, Wizards of Waverly, Shake It Up, Good Luck Charlie, or Sonny With a Chance streaming through our television for several months.  No offense to those who allow their children to watch it.  It's just our choice.

And you're asking yourself why we let the girls listen to Justin Bieber?  ha!  Truthfully, they're not allowed to listen to the overly boyfriend/girlfriend songs repeatedly.  On their iPods, they have Never Say Never, U Smile, Pray, Born to be Somebody, Baby {I guess that's the exception}, and Somebody to Love {because that's what is being used in Gracie's hip hop class right now}.  And for the record, I'd never want the girls to truly crush on someone like him in real life.   He's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much of a flirt with all of the ladies.  Seriously.

I suppose it's our way of pushing the 'pause' button on growing up so quickly.  For now.  We didn't see the need for our 8 and 10 yo to watch shows {and listen to music} catering to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  We'll be there soon enough.

Nator would rather listen to The Sound of Music songs on her iPod, anyway.  Love it.  She's a sweet, old soul.  *sigh*  When Justin Bieber's name is mentioned, she sort of just rolls her eyes.  ha!

With each new group of friends that we adopt, Gracie always finds a new crush.  It's been that way since she could talk.  While boys were playing with dump-trucks in the nursery, she was expressing her desire to, one day, marry {you fill in the blank}. 

Nator {now} quietly expresses her crushes, too.  And the realization that she thinks deeply about her future emerges when she grabs my hands and asks me if I'll help her pick out paint colors for her house, decorate it, plan her wedding, bring a baby into this world, and buy baby clothes.

*big, huge, deep sigh*

Girls.  We're just weaved together differently.

I've given speeches about how I'd like for them to be independent and not find themselves completely dependent on a man to care for them, but Gracie will hear nothing of it.  She wants her Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet and take care of her.  Remember, she's the one that said scrubbing toilets was not in her 'happily ever after'.  I'm sure we all wish it weren't in ours.

Real life is messy.  And it doesn't come with a manual.

Raising girls is a delicate balance of teaching true beauty in a world in which meaningful values are seemingly upside down.

Within reason, we do our best to filter everything the girls are doing, and try to anticipate what will come.  But we're not perfect.  And neither are our girls.  Shocker.  I know.

For now, we're holding on to 'pause' for as long as we can.  A new season in this parent/child relationship will be here soon enough.

For those who were interested in a video of the Bieber... This is my favorite.  About prayer... but the video shows him being love extended, too.  Sometimes, I think that's better.  ;)


  1. I love that Nator loves The Sound of Music. I also love that y'all are sticking to your guns about your beliefs!

  2. Sound of Music...she's my kinda girl!!! As for the video, thanks for making me cry. Now I have a Bieber cold. ;)

  3. The years get a little more challenging but you can do it!!! You and your girls seem close and that's huge in navigating the more unpredictable waters of adolescence. I enjoyed those years...not every moment of them : ) but overall. And some of our best family memories are from the teen years so have hope!

  4. We don't do the tween t.v. here at all. I don't think it's something that should be shaping my peeps, especially when you see the stars of some of these tween programs have nude photos, drug videos and a wild night life. Not that all of these 'role' models are bad, but I want a better handle on my kids than what Disney execs think is cool.

    My girly Sydney LOVES musicals. She can sing almost anything from most any musical!

    Don't ever apologize for being a good parent! :)

  5. Oh, "The Sound of Music"... I loved it when I was a girl too :) (Still love it, actually!)

    Your love for your girls just shines when you talk about them. It's evident that your relationship with them is good, and like previous commenters said, I admire your steadfastness in setting boundaries so that they can enjoy their childhood and not grow up too fast.

  6. I'm wanting to push the pause button too! Crushes and boyfriends completely scare me! We just keep enjoying Strawberry Shortcake here!
    By the way, hope you're not offended, but I just cannot bring myself to watch the little JB man clip. I'm keeping my head buried in this sand on this boy! (at least until I have figure him out!)

  7. I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only parent out there who has begun to restrict the "tween" shows. Hannah Montana has been out of our house for several months, iCarly is only an episode a day, and Wizards of Waverly is off all together. We have to protect our girls and teach them that true beauty comes from inside.

  8. Yeah for you Mama...I'm siding with you ALL the way!

  9. love the way you are raising your girls. We tried to keep the movies and shows away as long as we could too and I think my kids truly had a childhood!!

  10. I don't let my daughter watch all those TV shows either. She complains that all the kids watch them, but I just can't see my 9 year-old little girl watching/wanting to have a life that isn't age appropriate. Doesn't seem smart. So I stand my ground against the whines. I want her to enjoy her childhood, not rush out of it and into trouble.

    Raising kids is a hard balance. I think I'm learning that more and more each day.

  11. I feel the same way about those tv shows and the music too. We do our best to preserve out children's innocence because they are gonna be grown up soon enough anyways.

    Thanks for sharing that video, since we stray away from a lot of the "teen idols" I had not idea that song existed. It was a good one to hear from such a popular main stream artist.

  12. Sounds like you are doing a great job of raising those girls! It is a tough job.

  13. We made a very conscious decision as parents to keep our kids shielded from growing up too fast. And we succeeded for the most part. Childhood is so short. It should be innocent and magical.

  14. I found your blog through Life in Words. So glad I did! I have two daughters and we have been homeschooling for just over a year. I love this time with my girls and wish they could hang out at this age for a while longer.......This stage of between child and teenager is magical, challenging, but magical.
    Great post!

  15. Is JB a believer?? not that my little girl even wants to listen to him... just curious now... =)

    Have you introduced your little girlys to Owl City?? I just found him... hip, contemporary music... lyrics are odd but not offensive or romantic or anything teenish... yet.. teens like it.. as do I... and my 10 year old little girl!! he he... and I believe he is a believer... and... uh... oh... he sings a song in Guardians of GaHoole! =) My little girl read all those books... and loves the movie! =) Funny how different little girls can be... my little girl beats her own drum... I love it... but sometimes it is hard!! =)

  16. Found you through Teresa's blog [Our life In Words] I have a barely 11 year old girl and I so agree with all of this.

    I don't let Kei watch a lot of Disney, some but not mindlessly. That is one thing I so love about HSing...the girls do seem a little less 'grown up' than their PS peers. I'll be back. :)


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