Under the Influence

If you're under the influence...

• you may interpret a slow response by someone as an intentional ignore, which could lead to tears.
• everything that bothers you a little is magnified.  Times 50.
• your waistline may feel as though you are 5 months pregnant, which you are not.  So, don't ask.  It's water retention, people.
• you may want to hit someone.  Under normal circumstances, it would never cross your mind.  Ever.
• you may not want to be in the same room with yourself.
• you may feel like doing this... but somehow find the strength to resist.

{no, that's not me!}

• you may develop a blister on your face, advertising to the world that you are, indeed, under the influence.
• being made to feel like an insignificant number while speaking to a doctor's office may cause you to burst into tears as soon as you hang up.
• listening to your children bicker about insignificant things may cause you to burst into tears.
• looking at the chores that abound, with no end in sight, may cause you to burst into tears.  12 seconds of having clean laundry is just not enough.
• chocolate may become your new best friend.
• you may not want to be around anyone.
• your husband needs to be extra sensitive to your needs, if he knows what's best.

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• it's best to just curl up with good movies... for about 3 days.
• you need a hug.
• the thought of errands may induce tears.
• tear ducts are always loaded and ready to fire at will... which could be at any moment. {noticing a theme?}
• remaining quiet really is the best option, because the 'think before you speak' saying really only works when you're not under the influence.
• thoughts cannot be trusted.
• you may feel the need to raid the pantry.

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• calories shouldn't don't count.
• feelings that range from laughter, to crying, to laughter, to crying, all within a 2 minute time-frame are completely normal.
• you may {seemingly} drop almost everything you pick up, which makes everything even more irritating, which could induce tears.
• everything that makes a noise seems magnified.  Times 50.
• you may feel extra tired, and forgetful.
• fun things, temporarily, just don't sound like a lot of fun.
• you may be 'just a tad' oversensitive, but it wouldn't be wise for anyone to point that out.

If you are under the influence of PMS, that is... 

Of which I am not. 

Ever.

These are just things I've heard, of course.

{Then Menopause?  Geesh.  Do we get a break?}

If you are feeling any of the above symptoms, they say you should: 
eat more grains, fruits, vegetables, and less caffeine, sugar, and salt,
exercise and sleep more, while handling your feelings.

However, if you have any of these symptoms, you won't feel like following the rules anyway...  because following rules may make you grumpy, or want to cry.  

 

Who knows?

Again, this is just what I hear. ;)