Thursday, September 10, 2009

Don't test Mama Bear

Roger Stephens would have pulled back a nub if he had tried to slap one of my girls in the aisles of Wal-Mart.  I'm not a violent person; however, you never know how long or sharp a mama bear’s claws are… till you mess with her cubs.   I don't believe you want to test those waters with a mama bear. 

We had our own Wal-Mart experience when A-Nator was a baby.  It was with a special needs adult while his guardian was not paying attention.  Bless his heart.  He walked right up to us with the biggest smile on his face.  He wanted to hug A-Nator, but had her more in a tight headlock in which DK had to pry his arm off of her head!  That story could have had a number of different outcomes, but thankfully it ended well.

I love this familiar quote…

“In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.  When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.  Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
 When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.  If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
 If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.   Yup… I’m gonna be a bear.”

I remember times when our girls had their own… shall we say… ‘moments’.  They were few and far between, I’m sure. ;)  We tried to be respectful of those around us, but as much as we searched for one, those lil’ angels didn’t come with remote controls.

Every weekend, we used to eat out with a group from church.  There was one issue we stood our ground on.  The highchair.   It was our opinion that the girls had to learn to sit in it… no getting in and out, in and out, acting like an uncivilized child.  As hard as it was, they wouldn’t get their way by showing us that cute lil’ pouty lip.  Thankfully, it only took one ‘stand-off’ for each of them.  No worries... there was no swatting involved.  It paid off.

One restaurant may or may not have shut down shortly after one such episode.  I’m sure our crying child had nothing to do with it.  I only have a permanent twitch as a souvenir.  No harm done.  ;)

(I'm not a fan of Family Guy... Just thought it was fitting)


  1. Yup! I'm a mama bear too! I love the qoate about waking up with hairy legs and extra boddy fat and swatting anyone who messes with the cubs. It's all me!!

  2. Girl! This is awesome! I never thought of it like that before, but boy, bears really have it made huh? Especially the hairy legs part. GUILTY! :)


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