Unwelcome Guests

First, you invaded our back yard (or did we invade yours?). No matter how we ‘treat’ you, it’s like playing a game of ‘whack the groundhog’. You creep up in other places of the yard in piles or running throughout the grass.

Who invited you to travel through our house once or twice a year anyway? Not I. You sometimes trail along the baseboards and under my carpet with seemingly no starting place or finish line. Some of you make yourselves at home in my daughter’s bedroom and sting her at night for no apparent reason, while a few of you enjoy a warm laptop and boldly make your appearance when placed on my lap. You crawl up my bathroom door, finding my big-white-fluffy-Michelin-like house robe and sting me for putting it on. How dare you!

People warned me about moths, but no one ever told me that ants will leave holes in your shirts too!

You don’t seem thirsty... AND haven’t you realized by now that our food is sealed tight, animal food is protected in water moats and our trash is away from the house? Then, why are you here? Are you using us for our A/C? Did you come in our home uninvited to escape the animals that find you a good source of protein? If aardvarks were cute, I’d be tempted to adopt one.

I get it. Really, I do. If we were to lose you, it would hurt our ecosystem. So… Why don’t you go outside and pollinate some plants? Aerate the soil? OR better yet, go control the weeds that have taken over our grass!!

If you must stay indoors, at least turn your ‘micro’ house cleaning chores into major ones. I mean, wouldn’t doing a load of laundry ‘earn your keep’ much more than attacking a piece of dog food that went unnoticed on the floor for 15 minutes?!

I’ve stomped on and flushed many of you pesky lil’ ants. We’ve tried to caulk where we thought you saw a ‘welcome’ sign and even sprayed vinegar to throw you off your trail… among other things.

Resistance is futile.

So, while I’m figuring out my next step of showing you the nearest exit, I will just tell you good morning while I’m cooking everyone (excluding you) breakfast. Please, just please, stay away from my toes or I will show you again just how unwelcomed you really are!

Oh, and although they say you are a ‘sanitary’ insect, I do appreciate that you have left my kitchen counters alone.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll leave on your own again like last time? That would be nice. You know, since you were never invited in the first place.

Some of us are less concerned with the ants...

Apparently, the ants aren't the only residents

who think I'm mean. ;)

Just doin' my job... in love.